We live in a broken world. Inside us there beats a heart that has been broken more times than we'd care to remember. But there will always be someone to help us pick up the shattered pieces and begin the process of repair. Sometimes with glue, sometimes with love, sometimes with miracles. Always with God. ~ Rabbi Naomi Levyi am grateful for those who have helped pick up the pieces and loved me back together again.
05 October 2011
a good read
i was browsing a magazine and ran across this quote. it is from the author's latest book, Hope Will Find You.
01 October 2011
simplification: step three
one thing i have found, which surprises me, is that if i make time for myself in the day, i find time for everything else. i have reached the conclusion that this phenomena is a consequence of proper priorities. let's face it: if i haven't had a coffee or a shower, if i am distracted and frazzled, if i'm flying by the seat of my pants for everything from laundry to dinner, then i can hardly be the kind of mother, wife, and friend that i want to be for others.
life can begin to follow a simpler tune when i carve out time for personal Bible study and exercise. i don't get this right by any stretch of the imagination. my goal is to do this by waking up an hour earlier than the rest of my household. i am snickering as i type because this is not what i achieve! Nevertheless, it is my aspiration.
in pursuit of this aspiration, i am moving my wake-up time up by 15 minutes per week until i'm at the hour. next week, the alarm will be set for 6:45am.
i want to have time to calm my mind and my spirit for the day. iwant to commune with my God and understand how i am supposed to live the day that lies before me. i want to present enough to make a choice for happiness in my day. i want to exercise and feel the tingle of energy in my muscles, to feel the soothing stretch of my arms and back, to breathe deeply in and out in meditation. i want to choose to lie in the cool morning listening to the sounds of my sleeping household on a lazy Saturday morning, without "there's no milk for breakfast" nagging at the back of my mind.
the key to accomplishing this on some semblance of a regular basis, is to put it on the calendar from the get-go. and, don't let go of it even if i fail to do it one week. it takes a lot of positive self-talk: this is important, i'm a better person when i'm rested and centered, i need this and my family needs this from me, i can care for myself. even if i don't believe all of this, just saying it leads me to believe it. then, taking the time for myself becomes easier.
selfish? no. i find that i am more likely to neglect my well-being rather than be selfish about it. if you're one of those who do the same, perhaps it's time to savor an hour to yourself tonight!
life can begin to follow a simpler tune when i carve out time for personal Bible study and exercise. i don't get this right by any stretch of the imagination. my goal is to do this by waking up an hour earlier than the rest of my household. i am snickering as i type because this is not what i achieve! Nevertheless, it is my aspiration.
in pursuit of this aspiration, i am moving my wake-up time up by 15 minutes per week until i'm at the hour. next week, the alarm will be set for 6:45am.
i want to have time to calm my mind and my spirit for the day. iwant to commune with my God and understand how i am supposed to live the day that lies before me. i want to present enough to make a choice for happiness in my day. i want to exercise and feel the tingle of energy in my muscles, to feel the soothing stretch of my arms and back, to breathe deeply in and out in meditation. i want to choose to lie in the cool morning listening to the sounds of my sleeping household on a lazy Saturday morning, without "there's no milk for breakfast" nagging at the back of my mind.
the key to accomplishing this on some semblance of a regular basis, is to put it on the calendar from the get-go. and, don't let go of it even if i fail to do it one week. it takes a lot of positive self-talk: this is important, i'm a better person when i'm rested and centered, i need this and my family needs this from me, i can care for myself. even if i don't believe all of this, just saying it leads me to believe it. then, taking the time for myself becomes easier.
selfish? no. i find that i am more likely to neglect my well-being rather than be selfish about it. if you're one of those who do the same, perhaps it's time to savor an hour to yourself tonight!
23 March 2011
truth
is, i ache.
chronic, always at the back of my mind
settling for having less than i want
because you are gone.
be
it day or night, never matter
perfume advertisement, worn pajama
the skirt i never wear waiting in
the closet. he
told
me it would stay.
times between filled to brimming
a laundry list of life
you never had.
© Amy Feistel 2011
is, i ache.
chronic, always at the back of my mind
settling for having less than i want
because you are gone.
be
it day or night, never matter
perfume advertisement, worn pajama
the skirt i never wear waiting in
the closet. he
told
me it would stay.
times between filled to brimming
a laundry list of life
you never had.
© Amy Feistel 2011
14 March 2011
simplification: step two
simplifying one's life isn't really a "do it once and it's done" kind of project. it is genuinely an ongoing process, which makes it more of a lifestyle. the second step i have taken is reevaluating my friendships and other relationships. it is very easy to claim friendships with individuals whom we barely know and, before long, our lives are as cluttered with relationships as our closets are of junk.
what is friendship? who are my friends?
the digital, network environment has taken relationships to a new level. now, i receive friendship requests from strangers and i nurture a digital persona based on the particular environment i happen to be participating at the moment. need an example? i put my best professional foot forward on LinkedIn where, I might add, the site reminds me that "Relationships Matter". i maintain a virtual resume with deliberation and network with connections by frenetically responding to and sending linking invitations. then, i click over to Facebook and notate my day in witty repartee with the status updates for 500 of my nearest and dearest. for real?!
the intellectual discussions of virtual networking, user interfaces, sociological constructs of community and virtual self are fascinating to me. i don't have the time or energy to have that conversation here (i must finish this post before Little A's nap ends). want to talk about it? post a comment or call me or bring up the topic when you see me next. i look forward to it! in the meantime...
i decided that i needed technology to help me manage clutter rather than create more. and, i want my digital persona to accurately reflect my flesh and bone. i want to have an integrated life rather than one that is compartmentalized. i want the self working from home to mesh with the one who is mommy and the one who wife, daughter, girlfriend, sister, musician, sunday school teacher and racer.
a quick internet look-up gives me this definition of friendship.
–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a
Quaker.
–verb (used with object)
6. Rare . to befriend.
—idiom
7. make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend
to.
—synonyms
1. comrade, chum, crony, confidant. See acquaintance.
2. backer, advocate.
4. ally, associate, confrere, compatriot.
—antonyms
1, 4. enemy, foe.
who are my friends? with whom do i feel attached by affection? to whom would i offer assistance? am i really an advocate for them?
i decided to address these questions in one social network only. i chose Facebook. here, i removed "friend clutter". it took two days and wasn't very scientific. i reviewed the entire list of people twice and i "un-friended" the complete strangers, acquaintances, and those with whom i have not nor plan to communicate. who is left? only the people that i intend to truly keep in touch with and be a friend to are now connected to me. this isn't to say that i didn't like the other people. i, simply, cannot truly be friends with everyone.
i want to visit this network and really have time to interact with friends there rather than avoid it because i'm overwhelmed by the status updates or the game invitations. in writing about it with a friend, i was reminded that my commitments to my friends will be stronger now because there are fewer of them. i'm saying "no" so that my "yes" will be deliberative and meaningful in the future.
now, i have to give thought to friendship requests that are sent each day in order to maintain it. still, my soul feels lightened, freer to enjoy the pictures of friends and family. being truthful and sincere with myself has made me happier.
what is friendship? who are my friends?
the digital, network environment has taken relationships to a new level. now, i receive friendship requests from strangers and i nurture a digital persona based on the particular environment i happen to be participating at the moment. need an example? i put my best professional foot forward on LinkedIn where, I might add, the site reminds me that "Relationships Matter". i maintain a virtual resume with deliberation and network with connections by frenetically responding to and sending linking invitations. then, i click over to Facebook and notate my day in witty repartee with the status updates for 500 of my nearest and dearest. for real?!
the intellectual discussions of virtual networking, user interfaces, sociological constructs of community and virtual self are fascinating to me. i don't have the time or energy to have that conversation here (i must finish this post before Little A's nap ends). want to talk about it? post a comment or call me or bring up the topic when you see me next. i look forward to it! in the meantime...
i decided that i needed technology to help me manage clutter rather than create more. and, i want my digital persona to accurately reflect my flesh and bone. i want to have an integrated life rather than one that is compartmentalized. i want the self working from home to mesh with the one who is mommy and the one who wife, daughter, girlfriend, sister, musician, sunday school teacher and racer.
a quick internet look-up gives me this definition of friendship.
–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a
Quaker.
–verb (used with object)
6. Rare . to befriend.
—idiom
7. make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend
to.
—synonyms
1. comrade, chum, crony, confidant. See acquaintance.
2. backer, advocate.
4. ally, associate, confrere, compatriot.
—antonyms
1, 4. enemy, foe.
who are my friends? with whom do i feel attached by affection? to whom would i offer assistance? am i really an advocate for them?
i decided to address these questions in one social network only. i chose Facebook. here, i removed "friend clutter". it took two days and wasn't very scientific. i reviewed the entire list of people twice and i "un-friended" the complete strangers, acquaintances, and those with whom i have not nor plan to communicate. who is left? only the people that i intend to truly keep in touch with and be a friend to are now connected to me. this isn't to say that i didn't like the other people. i, simply, cannot truly be friends with everyone.
i want to visit this network and really have time to interact with friends there rather than avoid it because i'm overwhelmed by the status updates or the game invitations. in writing about it with a friend, i was reminded that my commitments to my friends will be stronger now because there are fewer of them. i'm saying "no" so that my "yes" will be deliberative and meaningful in the future.
now, i have to give thought to friendship requests that are sent each day in order to maintain it. still, my soul feels lightened, freer to enjoy the pictures of friends and family. being truthful and sincere with myself has made me happier.
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